…the charming fellow who sent me this OkCupid message:
“Hey sweetheart, how are you? lets talk and find out each others wants and desires. I know what I want and I know what I like. Where does one go to be so eloquent in his choice of words? I guess college paid off? LOL… Sorry, to be so forward but, what better way to get to know someone than in person…Right? What’s your name? I’m not a bad influence…but sometimes its good to be bad…I was wondering if you would like to get together sometime… tonight? Or in the near future, perhaps you and I can get together for a drink or something? Dinner, movie, go to Las Vegas get married…LOL, Maybe a little dancing and romancing is always nice too…”
I mean, really though. What girl in her right mind would be wooed by this? What guy in his right mind thinks, aww yeah, this is foolproof lady-snagging material right here? This is just burning the bridge before it’s even built. In fact, this is shooting the contractor hired to build the bridge before he gets a chance to set foot out the door. This might even be going back in time and shooting the person who would have hired the contractor that would have built this bridge. No, no, no. This is not going to warrant any sort of response from me, Creepy McCreeperpants. This will make me retch and gag as I try to find the block button.
Needless to say, I will not be getting married in Las Vegas tonight.