I’m either horrible at flirting, or I’m not.
Totally not vague opener, I know.
Here’s the thing about me: your average pick-up lines tend to make me raise an eyebrow rather than swoon. This could mean one of two things: 1) I’m a smart, grounded girl who doesn’t fall easily things or 2) I’m a cynical, frigid amazon who just needs to thaw out a little more. I’d like to believe it’s the first option, but it could very well be the second. I always did relate well to Much Ado About Nothing’s Beatrice and The Taming of the Shrew’s Katherina.
I traded digits with this guy I met recently and we started having a small talk-y conversation. Then, this happened:
Bro, seriously? You wanted me to respond that you were on my mind? Um… no, I’m not sitting here twirling my hair daydreaming about you. I hardly know you. And even if I did, the chance of me doing so (or the chance of me admitting it, at least) would be slim.
That part of the conversation passed through with some, “haha just kiddings” and we started to talk about other mundane things. Still, I couldn’t believe I had just read that. It seemed completely silly to me. I was in the middle of conversing with the guy, and he still wanted my response to be, “I’m thinking of you 😉 😉 ;)”? I mean, yes, he was bound to be crossing my mind, seeing as we were mid-conversation and I was replying to his texts, but I wasn’t actively focusing my thoughts on him. Honestly, my number one thought at the moment really was, “Did the forecasts even call for snow today?”
I mean, I’ve been there before. I’ve done the whole texting cutesy things to a boy you’re sort of flirting with, ending texts with winking smiley faces and coyly stating that they’re the sole thought taking up your mind. But even then, I always felt sort of slimy doing it, like I was just taking up the reins to a role I was being expected to fill rather than being myself. And I’m not lying when I say that it hadn’t even crossed my mind that that might be the response he was fishing for. Really, that would have been the last thing I would have thought of.
It’s in moments like these where this Liz Lemon quote completely sums up my life:
Bless you, Tina Fey, for getting me.